


Space Sheets

by GretchenSinister



Series: The Doors of Perception and Bonus Material [14]
Category: Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Domestic Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-01
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:42:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23431873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GretchenSinister/pseuds/GretchenSinister
Summary: Old married domestic unreconstructed hippies because ohohoho am I ever sappy. There are two things going on here: a post about space sheets that I saw tagged blacksand, and the question of whether cotton undershirts are lingerie.
Relationships: Pitch Black/Sanderson Mansnoozie
Series: The Doors of Perception and Bonus Material [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1587967
Comments: 3
Kudos: 8
Collections: Blacksand Short Fics





	Space Sheets

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on Tumblr on 5/30/2014.
> 
> This is a "DVD Extra" for the fic The Doors of Perception. It should be considered canonical with the main fic.

“…and to top it all off, I think Butterscotch–who still refuses to answer to anything else–taught Phoenix to unlatch stall doors, which makes me want to take the day off tomorrow, except that I know I’ll be badly needed.”

“You make them smarter just by being around them,” Sandy says with a smile.

“If that’s my mutant power, it’s a terrible one,” Kozzy replies. “How was your day?”

“I got frustrated with the latest painting in the _archipelago_ series, so I sketched Professor X and Magneto for a while. Then I felt like I was too old to be doing that, and I couldn’t manage to shake the feeling, so I went to the mall with no clear purpose.”

“Not even people-watching?”

“Not even people-watching. Unsurprisingly, the blatant consumerism didn’t help my mood. I did end up buying something, though.” Sandy makes a face at himself.

“What did you buy?”

Sandy finishes his last bite of the lasagna they’re having for dinner before answering. “New sheets.”

“Well, we did need some,” Kozzy says.

* * *

“They’re on the bed now,” Sandy remarks as he walks through the living room as the episode of _Hannibal_ Kozzy just watched ends.

Kozzy looks up at Sandy and raises his eyebrows. “Is it bedtime?” he asks.

Sandy pauses behind him and rakes his fingers through Kozzy’s salt-and-pepper hair. “Yes,” he murmurs as he starts to massage Kozzy’s scalp. Kozzy groans as Sandy’s hands move to the back of his neck and shoulders.

“Are these sheets X-Men bedsheets or something? I wouldn’t think they made those in king. Why–mmm–are you prepping me to agree with any sort of ridiculous thing?”

“Maybe I feel a little ridiculous,” Sandy says, and kisses Kozzy’s temple.

Kozzy laughs a little breathlessly. “Okay, then. It’s bedtime.” He stands up and takes Sandy by the hand to lead him to their bedroom and the mysterious new bedsheets.

* * *

“Space sheets,” Kozzy says, looking down at the bed. 

“Space sheets,” Sandy agrees.

Kozzy picks up a corner of the top sheet and feels the fabric. “They’re actually…quite nice.” The pattern on the sheets and pillowcases includes many small white and yellow stars on a background that shifts between black and very dark blue and purple. A few larger nebulae and spiral galaxies complete the pattern, which isn’t truly a pattern, because it doesn’t seem to repeat. “Where did you get them?”

“Earth Magic,” Sandy says, sliding his arm around Kozzy’s waist and playing with the hem of his shirt. “That’s why they smell like that cheap patchouli.”

“I didn’t even notice,” Kozzy says with a low chuckle.

Sandy shoves him with his hip. “Ass. We use much nicer incense.”

“Hmm. And now,” he says, placing his hand over Sandy’s, “you want to fuck me on the space sheets.”

“Don’t be vulgar,” Sandy says. He turns Kozzy to face him, pulling him close and sliding his hands under his shirt. “I want to fuck you like gods fuck, with the entire universe as our bed. I want us to be cosmic principles making love.”

“That’s why you bought space sheets?” Kozzy asks, quickly unbuttoning his shirt. Ever since they reunited, Kozzy’s main source of frustration with himself is that he can’t strip fast enough at times like these.

“Pretty much, yeah,” Sandy says, helping Kozzy with the bottom buttons of his shirt.

“You know, I appreciate the thought, but you know what I really want to do?” Kozzy asks as he tosses his shirt in the general direction of the closet and starts to unbuckle his belt.

“What?” Sandy removes his own shirt, revealing the thin white undershirt beneath. When he looks up, Kozzy’s giving him a wolfish grin.

“Well,” says Kozzy, folding his arms over his bare chest, “I'd really like my earthly husband to fuck me on the space sheets, particularly since I’ve just discovered he’s wearing one of his see-through undershirts, which I’m pretty sure cosmic principles don’t.”

Sandy feels heat rising to his face. “Kozzy, I–would you believe I forgot about your reaction to these silly things?”

“Yes, because you don’t wear them often enough.”

Sandy sighs, exasperated, and shakes his head. “They’re not lingerie!”

“Now there’s an idea,” says Kozzy.

“I don’t think Victoria’s Secret carries my size,” Sandy mutters.

“Oh no, wherever might we turn to for custom clothing?” Kozzy laughs, stripping down completely.

“I swear, Kozzy, if you commission Tooth to make me fancy underwear, I’ll–I’ll–”

“But I’m sure it would look fantastic,” Kozzy says, stepping behind Sandy and reaching around to tease his nipples through the thin cotton before moving on to help him out of his jeans.

“Don’t you have more pressing and important things to talk about?” Sandy asks, a little breathlessly. “Like whether or not you want me to keep it on while I fuck you entirely without metaphor?”

“Yes, that’s very important,” Kozzy murmurs in between nips at Sandy’s ear. “Keep it on. I want to feel that soft cotton on my back.”

“Wha–Kozzy!” Sandy cries out as Kozzy tumbles them onto the space sheets. “It’s a little difficult for me to kiss you as much as I like to that way.”

“Kiss me now, then,” Kozzy says.

“Fine. But I’m going to kiss you with metaphor. I’m going to kiss you like a cosmic principle,” Sandy says, pulling Kozzy close so quickly their teeth clack together.

* * *

“I had no idea cosmic principles liked leaving hickeys so much,” Kozzy says softly into Sandy’s hair as they spoon together afterwards.

Sandy presses his back against Kozzy’s chest, bare skin on bare skin now. (“Lingerie is only for during the fucking.” “It’s not lingerie!”)

“Jane and Katherine already know about your debauched lifestyle,” Sandy says with a yawn. “Wandering off the job with former lovers, etc.”

Kozzy gently pinches his arm. “And what about the students?”

“Tell them you got bitten by a horse,” Sandy suggests, bringing Kozzy’s hand to his mouth and kissing his fingertips.

“That’s going to end up true, you know.”

“I’ll kiss you better, then,” Sandy says, moving to Kozzy’s palm to prove his point.

“You’re a menace to society,” Kozzy mutters.

“Never been anything else,” Sandy says solemnly, and Kozzy squeezes him tighter for a moment.

“Well, I like the space sheets, anyway,” he says. “I like having our own little universe.”

**Author's Note:**

> Tags and Comments from Tumblr:
> 
> #gross old married people#Sandy doesn't really like Hannibal#Pitch works at a horse rescue#Sandy is more interested in being divine than Pitch is#Pitch you thirsty old man#Sandy ships Cherik#does everyone remember that store at the mall that always REEKED of patchouli?#and it sold like incence and dragon statues and rocks#and oh yeah a lot of little wooden boxes#what are those good for? I wondered as a child#Why do you need a little box with a peace sign or ying yang or celtic knot on it?#Now I know
> 
> plush-anon reblogged this from sylphidine: #*sighs happily* #damn that's good
> 
> sylphidine reblogged this from gretchensinister and added:  
> I AM SAPPY AND I WANT SPACE SHEETS NOW[I get a little overwrought when I’ve been ill for a few days. So, so, so tired of being a wheezing hacking bag of snot. Thus a perfect day to submerge myself in unrepentantly fluffy domestic old married Blacksand hippies.]
> 
> whentheoceanmetsky said: I was really enjoying this up until I read “#Pitch you thirsty old man” at which point I started crying with laughter.
> 
> masterfeelshoarded reblogged this from gretchensinister and added:  
> you should really get these extras for your fics on ao3 where i can bookmark them and love them en masse
> 
> tejoxys said: Oh my god, this is so cute. I’ll just be here laughing helplessly. I love these guys.


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